This Doesn't Have To Be Goodbye
by MJoftheday
Summary: Set during "The Real Paul Anka" when Rory goes to see Jess at the Truncheon open house. Old feelings for Jess arose, & she was so angry at Logan for cheating on her... What if she'd stayed after Jess kissed her? One-shot unless y'all want more. Literati.
1. This doesn't have to be goodbye

**Authors note: **Hi! This is my very first fic! I'm not sure where it could end up going, so it's just a one-shot for now, unless reviewers are interested in more. I just recently watched this Truncheon scene from "The Real Paul Anka". It breaks my heart everytime. :\ I found myself wondering what would've happened if Rory had stayed... So I wrote it!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Gilmore Girls", nor am I affiliated with it, the creators, the writers, the actors/actresses, the directors, or the producers in any way. I am just a fan.

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**This doesn't have to be goodbye.**

"You know, you don't have to read it again."

He walked the short distance to where Rory sat, pulling up a stool to sit across from her. His two coworkers – who just so happened to also be his roommates and closest friends – had just invited him to a bar for a bit of a celebration after their somewhat successful open house at Truncheon Publishing House. He'd passed on it, though. His mind had been fixated solely on Rory, and the promise of the evening that was thick in the air.

Rory looked up at him, closing the book she held in her hands and setting it in her lap. "I know I don't," she said with a grin.

He looked down at his book. _The Subsect_. He'd been so proud of it at the time, but now he merely scoffed at it. "God, there are so many things I would change in it."

Surprise enveloped Rory's features. "Like what?" she asked, turning in her seat towards him.

"I'd keep the back cover. Everything else goes," he said, sweeping his hand through the air as if he were brushing something away.

"You know why I love your book?"

"Why?"

"It doesn't remind me of anything. It's not a rip-off. It's just _you_." And that was the truth. When she'd read it, the words had rolled off her tongue so smoothly, as if they were her own. As if they had been there all along, ready and waiting for her to let them out. And when she read it, she could almost hear Jess – sitting close beside her, speaking it into her ear, his voice barely above a whisper. It gave her a warm, nostalgic, bittersweet feeling that she'd reveled in.

He couldn't help but smile. "High praise, miss Yale editor," he said, playfully punching her in the knee. He wouldn't admit it without her prying it from him painfully, but he'd written _The Subsect_ only for her. Of course, the pieces probably weren't too hard to put together – he _had_ dedicated his book to her, after all – but she was really the only person whose critique he honestly cared about. The only person whose approval mattered to him greatly.

Rory shrugged. "Yeah, well, I don't get to write as much as I would like. I'm mostly assigning and motivating; hand-holding and rewriting," she said shyly.

He nodded and smiled knowingly. "Yeah, and you love it! Every minute of it. C'mon, tell me you don't." He rested his elbow on is knee, effectively leaning closer towards her.

She smiled at the revelation that he still knew her so well. Even better than she remembered. "I do. I do love it," Rory nodded. "It's exciting."

"Yeah, you look happier than when I saw you last," he noted.

"I am."

"So you fixed everything?" And by "everything", he meant _everything_. Living with her grandparents, being in the D.A.R., not speaking to her mother, not attending Yale. And, most importantly, dating that spiky-headed punk.

She nodded, not quite taking his question to its fullest, literal meaning. " Yeah, everything's fixed."

"I'm glad you're here," he said, now resting both elbows on his knees, purposely leaning in once more.

"Yeah," she nodded, unable to contain her smile. "Me too."

Then Jess leaned in again, this time further and more slowly. Rory just watched him, not trying to stop him, and not wanting him to stop. Then their lips met, softly and gently.

He leaned in closer, pulling her into him as the kiss grew more passionately. He wanted this. He wanted her. He'd wanted this for so long. It was _so right_…

And then she pulled back.

_No. No, no, no!_ "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

She impulsively stood, backing away from him. "I'm sorry, Jess. I'm so sorry…"

"For what? For _this_? No, don't be sorry…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say. He just wanted this to work out for once. She was all he wanted, all he _ever _wanted. Jess stood up, walking towards her.

She shook her head, looking down in shame. "I can't even cheat on him like he cheated on me."

"Oh." Realization struck him suddenly, like a knife. He could feel the wall coming back up. The tough exterior that he'd built long ago and had used to keep everyone out, even his parents. Because in his experience, no one could be trusted. No one. They had to prove themselves before he'd even let an inch of it down. But Rory… Rory had seen through it instantly, and had broken it down in a matter of weeks. She was the only one who knew him for who he really was. She saw his soul, bare and naked and trembling. So, it was now when, with the pain, came the wall. "_Him_." The word came spewing out in a hiss, tasting like poison. "God… I_ knew_ I didn't like him for a reason."

Rory relaxed when she realized that Jess had become angry with Logan and not her. "Yeah, and it gets better."

"What, did he dress up as a disgruntled ghost of a bride murdered by her groom on the first night of their honeymoon and haunt the town, breaking into their houses in the wee hours of the night and writing profanities on their mirrors in lipstick?"

Rory couldn't help but grin at his quick ode to every lame horror movie ever made. "Close. He slept with all three of his sister's bridesmaids."

Jess was baffled. "You're kidding." And just like that, the wall came down again out of sympathy for the girl he loved. He couldn't stand to see her hurting.

"I wish," was Rory's simple reply.

"I thought you said everything was fixed?"

_Sigh._ "Everything but him."

"Are you alright?" Jess took a step closer to her, reaching out for her slightly, but not closing the gap. His arm lingered there in the space between them. Rory just shrugged, not making eye contact with him. He dropped his arm back down to his side. "You don't wanna talk about it." It was a statement. Not a question. He definitely knew her well.

Rory looked up at him with a pout. "The verbal thing comes and goes," she said, quoting him from a very long time ago. A time when things were simpler.

Jess smirked hearing his words repeated back to him. Those were definitely better days. Thinking back on those days, he immediately remembered the romance, the passion. More specifically, how warm she was when he held her… her small, petite form… the way she tasted… Which brought him back to the present. He'd kissed her, and she'd kissed him back. And she was still with _him_. The wall began to creep back up.

He looked into her big, sad, crystal blue eyes and wanted answers. "Why did you come here, Rory?"

She hesitated, then answered, "I don't know. I mean, I got your invitation in the mail. And I wanted to see the place, and what you do, and Logan was out of town, and…"

Jess interrupted her. "This is just like that time you skipped school and came to see me in New York, isn't it? Just because I didn't say goodbye? God, Rory! How much torturous closure do we need? Don't you think we've suffered enough because of each other?"

"I… I just wanted to see you," she half insisted, half pleaded innocently.

"Well, then. Go to Luke's; get my mom's address. Write her; ask her to send you a picture of me. Sure, it might be a little outdated. I might have acne on my forehead and metal in my mouth. But, hey, it's still the same friendly neighborhood hoodlum that you've always known."

"Jess, I…"

"Save it, Rory. Just do what you came to do. Just say goodbye, and then go back to your perfect little life, with your perfect little boyfriend and his perfect little porsche, in the perfect little apartment I'm sure you both share."

She felt the tears coming. He was so… so… _right_. About it all. She'd conjured up several different scenarios in her mind of how tonight could end up. But this? This was not one of them. "This doesn't have to be goodbye." Jess sighed, and Rory could see that the worst was over. She didn't want their saga to end this way. She took a step closer to him. "Do you want this to be goodbye?"

Jess knew he was angry with her. He knew she shouldn't be here. But he also knew that he loved her and he'd never really gotten over her. He couldn't help himself, especially when she was being all vulnerable and needy like this. He took a step closer to her, but lingered about a foot away from her face, closely watching her reaction. She didn't back away. She just looked up at him with those wet eyes, the tears making them look even bluer (if that was even possible.) She looked scared, but steady, somehow.

Jess cupped her face in his hands gingerly. "You know I don't."

Rory's cheeks tingled like electricity at his touch. She recalled a time similar to this, when Jess was sad, and _she_ had cradled _his_ face in her hand. _"Sad boy, what's wrong?"_ She closed her eyes as his face inched closer and closer to hers. She was ready.

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**A/n:** So, what did you think? Sound off in the reviews! =]


	2. The deal with us

**Author's Note: **The delightful reviews I got from the first chapter made me feel like a giddy little schoolgirl! So I decided to keep this story going, at least for a little while. And I know this chapter is shorter than the first, but if you take out the beginning of the first chapter (the part that was actually in the show and wasn't my own original work) they should be about equal length I think... Anyways, the first chapter had an all-knowing narrator, but this chapter is from Rory's POV, though it's still in 3rd person. No specific reason, it just turned out that way as I was writing it. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Gilmore Girls", nor am I affiliated with it, the creators, the writers, the actors/actresses, the directors, or the producers in any way. I am just a fan.

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**The deal with us.**

Rory awoke slowly, blinking her eyes open. Her limbs were stiff, and _oh_, _her head_… The sun was piercing through the window, making her head pound even more. She closed her eyes again, hoping to fall back asleep, and rolled over to free her face from the heat of the direct sunlight. As she did, she caught a whiff of the pillow her head was rested on. It smelled different. It smelled like… Jess…

_Jess._

Her eyes shot open. The other side of the bed was empty. The comforter was smooth, untouched. But the pillow was missing…

Then she saw him. He was sprawled out on the chair in the corner of the room only a few feet away from the bed. He had his pillow tucked in between the back and arm of the chair, and an afghan was draped across him. He was still in his outfit from the night before, save for his shoes and his jacket, which were on the floor beside the stool that his feet were rested on. He had one arm behind his head; the other was loosely clutching a book in his lap. Rory had to lean forward a bit to read the title… _The Subsect. _She grinned at the sight of him, falling asleep while rereading his own novel. _His own novel_. She was so proud of him. Writing a book, working at Truncheon…

_Truncheon._

What had happened last night? Rory's head was throbbing. She could hardly remember. _Oh, no_. Did they… ? She lifted up the covers and peeked under at herself. She was wearing clothes. _Whew. _But whose clothes? A black, over-sized, _The Clash _T-shirt and a pair of navy blue boxers. Jess must've given them to her to wear to sleep.

_Jess…_

Her gaze shot back up towards his sleeping figure at the thought of him. He wore such a peaceful expression on his face. And, was that a smirk she saw? She found herself wondering what he was dreaming of. Even weirder was when she found herself hoping he was dreaming of _her_.

"Jess! Oh, Jessie boy!" a mocking, sing-song voice came bellowing from the hallway. Rory quickly rolled over and closed her eyes, pretending she was asleep. She heard the door swing open and two pair of footsteps march in.

"Jess!" came the same voice she'd heard in the hallway. "Jess, wake up! We're going to get some brunch and… _Oh._"

"Dude, who's that?" came another voice.

"I think it's the girl from last night."

"Oh my God… _the_ girl? The same girl Jess has been going on and on about ever since we've known him? The girl he's pined over for years? The girl we literally had to talk him into sending an invite to the open house to because he'd been huffing and puffing and obsessing over whether he should or not for weeks? _'Oh, should I send it? Do you think she'd come? Do you think she's still with that guy? Do you think she still has feelings for me?'_" He said, mocking Jess's voice. "_That_ girl?"

"No, Chris, Angelina Jolie," said voice one sarcastically. It must've belonged to Matthew, one of Jess's roommates. He was the more prim and proper of the two. "Yes, _that _girl, you moron."

Rory heard stirring coming from the other end of the room, then a yawn, and a light thud. "What the heck are you guys doing in here? You know I only get up at seven on weekdays. It's Saturday."

"Dude," came from the second voice, the free-spirited and wild-haired Chris, who was Jess's other roommate. "It's ten-thirty."

More rustling came from Jess. "Ten thirty? _Really_?"

"Yes, really!" Chris. "And you're still in your clothes? What happened last night?"

"Yeah, what happened with Ronnie? Did you get her back?" Matthew.

"Ronnie? Her name's Rory… Oh my God. _Rory_!" Another thump came from Jess, this one louder than the first. He must've stood.

"Calm down, lover boy!" Chris said. "She's still there, in the bed, alone. Right where you left her."

"Yeah, Jess," Matthew chuckled, "was the chair comfy?"

Rory heard footsteps coming towards her. Two fingers brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and across her shoulder. "Shhh, guys. She's still sleeping."

"Alright, man. Well, we're going to get some grub. You and Lori want anything?"

"It's _Rory_, Matt." Jess's voice was close. "And, no. We'll get something later… Maybe. I don't really know what the deal is with us right now."

"Ooh, yeah, we can tell. You were sleeping in the chair, man."

"C'mon, Matthew. Cut the guy some slack!" Chris chimed in. "Can't you tell he's having a moment?" Chuckling then came from both of the guys.

"Get out. _Now_," Jess ordered. The two pairs of footsteps then walked away, pulling the door closed behind them. Jess sighed and walked the other direction, into the bathroom. Rory made sure she heard the door click and the shower turn on before she opened up her eyes again.

She sat up, stretching her sore limbs. She reached up to rub her still throbbing temples. Jess's words rung in her ears. _I don't really know what the deal is with us right now._ What_ was_ the deal? She didn't know either.

She looked over at the chair where Jess had slept. When he'd stood, the pillow had fallen to the seat cushion, and the afghan had fallen to the floor. But neither one of those items should've made the first "thud" that she'd heard...

She got out of bed and walked over to the chair, then leaned down and picked up the afghan. Underneath it she found Jess's boots, his black blazer, and his book. _The Subsect_, the source of the "thud". She glanced over at the bathroom door. Half of her wanted Jess to hurry up because maybe he could shed some light on the events of the previous evening... But the other half wanted him to stay in the bathroom as long as possible so she didn't have to face him while she was still ignorant of the events of the previous evening... _Oy._

So, she decided not to think about it. Instead, she picked up the book and settled back into the bed, snuggling under the covers. Pushing her headache and her current memory loss to the back of her mind, she used the blazing sunlight to begin reading from where she'd left off last night, with the ambiance of running water as her solace.

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**A/n:** So, I wrote this... And then read it and edited it and re-read it and re-edited it... And then did it again. I figured I was worrying too much and I needed to just go ahead and post it before I picked it apart until there was nothing left. I specifically had trouble with Chris and Matt because there was only one scene for me to watch to go by while writing them, so they're a bit of my own creation of who I'd see Jess hanging out with. So if you find errors in character or whatnot, don't be shy to let me know!

**A/n:** Anxious to know more? What _did_ happen last night? Review if you want answers! (Yes, that's a bribe.) :-P


	3. How to fry an egg

**Authors note: **I love my reviewers! They are beautiful. But I got a few reviews saying that alcohol must've been involved due to Rory's headache and memory loss. As that seems the most realistic outcome... Please believe me when I say that I did not intend for there to be drinking involved. And I didn't realize that people could come to this conclusion until, well, they did. I know I'm naive, but it's all good. So, yeah. My version of what happened "last night" is a lot less innocent, and the whole drinking side-effects thing was purely coincidental! This chapter changes POVs, but you'll know when! Again, I didn't intend to make them switch. But as I was writing it was just flowing and junk, and it just came out that way. Yeah, just read it.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Gilmore Girls", nor am I affiliated with it, the creators, the writers, the actors/actresses, the directors, or the producers in any way. I am just a fan.

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**How to fry an egg.**

Jess relished in the feel of the steaming water pelting down on his bare skin. He pictured the water washing off everything from the previous night that had stained him and sending it right down the drain. Not that he didn't appreciate what had happened – because he did, he really did, much as it might hurt to think about it – but he didn't want any of it holding him back. He wanted to start new today. He wanted to start fresh with Rory.

_Rory._

As he showered, her face was all he could see. The image of her perfect, angelic features was like a tattoo permanently etched on his brain. Much as he tried to change his thought pattern from the nerve-racking feeling he felt when thinking of her asleep in his bed, right outside the door… it was all in vain. His mind always strayed back to her, like a lost puppy walking aimlessly back in the direction of home.

And being with Rory _did_ make him feel like home. It felt right; it felt real. It felt like everything that he'd been doing in his life since leaving her all those years ago had been purposely leading up to this moment. He was ready for this… ready for_ her_. But was _she_ ready?

They were supposed to be together. He knew it. He knew it the moment he laid eyes on her at that horrid party that Lorelai had thrown at their house. He'd told her this before. And, no matter what happened or what paths they chose to take in their lives, they always managed to find each other. They'd come back around to each other multiple times, but the timing hadn't been right. Neither one of them had really, truly been ready, although he'd convinced himself that he had been each time.

Now, though, he _was_ ready. He was sure of it. He wasn't sure, however, if Rory was. If she wasn't, he didn't think that he could take it. He'd been able to move on before. Not from her, but with his life in general. He wasn't sure he would be able to do that this time. Not with how deep they'd gotten last night.

_Last night…_

It was still so hard to believe this was all happening. Rory had come to Truncheon. She'd come for _him_. They'd kissed. She'd stayed. They'd kissed some more. She'd still stayed. They'd talked. She'd cried. They'd kissed even more. She'd _still stayed._

He had high hopes for today. They would talk some more. They would make sense of everything that had happened. They would make this work. Screw the blonde jerk. She couldn't seriously go back to _that _piece of work.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. A thought that made his stomach twist up in knots. He felt sick, and nauseous, and… _scared_.

_What if she'd left?_

What if she'd woken up, realized she was in Jess's bed, remembered the events of the night before, freaked out, and then left – just like that? What if she'd _already gone back_ to that piece of work?

Jess Mariano never felt fear. _Never._ So how could this one girl bring out emotions in him that he'd refused to let surface throughout his entire life? Oh, yeah. Because she was _Rory_. If she'd left already… He knew he would chase her to the ends of the earth. Because he loved her, and he wasn't going to let her get away. Not this time.

He shut off the water, stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist, and flung the bathroom door open without thinking.

And there she was, clearly startled, sitting in his bed and looking up at him with those big blue eyes. Reading his book, no less. _She was still here_.

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Rory, completely lost in _The Subsect_, didn't even remember where she was. She wasn't aware of reality, as was the norm when she became enveloped in a good book. Therefore, when she heard a door swing open, she jumped. But when she remembered where she was, she quickly collected herself and looked up in the direction of the bathroom at Jess.

She involuntarily took in a sharp breath at the sight of him. He was dripping wet, little beads of water running down his bare shoulders and chest and torso. He had a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, being held up only by his fist. His muscles were smooth and tanned and chiseled… The only thing she could think was,_ Boy, time has definitely treated him well! _His wet hair was matted in sections to his forehead, and he wore the most anxious expression on his face. He looked almost… nervous? When their eyes met, she felt herself blush at his piercing gaze, realizing that he'd been watching her as she was "checking him out". His face relaxed, and a smirk appeared. There was the Jess she knew.

"Jess, hi," she said, shutting his book and setting it on the bed next to her. She reached up and smoothed down her hair instinctively, knowing that she probably had bed hair. Then she felt herself blush again, thinking of how insanely wonderful he looked, and how horrid she must've looked. She looked down to hide her ever-flushing cheeks.

"Hi," he said back at her. Rory couldn't believe that this Jess Mariano still had the power to make her blush.

"Hi," she breathed out.

"Hi."

Rory chuckled. "How many years has it been, and that's still all we can say?"

Jess smirked. "Huh. Sharp memory you got there, Gilmore." Pause. "How're ya feeling?"

Up until now, Rory had all but forgotten about her splitting headache. She reached up to rub her temples, furrowing her brow in pain. "Not so good, actually."

"Your head's still hurting?"

_Still?_ Her head had been hurting last night? Why couldn't she remember that? Usually memory loss was due to drinking. She didn't remember having consumed any alcohol… But she couldn't remember _anything_, for that matter. "Yeah, I guess."

An awkward silence passed, with Jess just standing there in his towel, dripping wet, and Rory sitting indian-style under the covers. They were both avoiding eye contact – looking around the room, up at the ceiling, down at their hands.

After a few moments of this torture, Jess broke the silence. "I should, uh…" He motioned towards his dresser drawers near the bed, hinting towards the fact that he should get dressed.

Rory nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'll just, uh..." she stood up out of the bed and pointed towards the bathroom door behind him.

"Yeah, right, of course." Jess stepped aside allowing Rory to ease past him into the bathroom. As she did, she felt her knees buckle, and reached out a hand to steady herself on the door knob. Jess immediately caught her by the elbow with his free hand (that wasn't holding up the towel.) "Whoa, Ror! You alright?"

Her head was spinning. Maybe it was just head rush from having not stood upright in over 12 hours. Maybe it was the pounding headache and the ringing in her ears. Maybe it was the lack of caffiene. Or maybe it was the intoxicating scent of his bodywash emanating from his bare skin… "Yeah, no, I'm fine."

Jess, obviously worried about her, didn't let go just yet. "Are you sure?"

Rory looked up and met his gaze. And, in a matter of miliseconds, she forgot about the headache. She forgot about the memory loss. She forgot about coffee. She forgot about Truncheon and Chris and Matthew. She forgot about Logan and Colin and Finn, and Honor and all her sleezy bridesmaids. She forgot about her mom and Luke and Paul Anka and April. She forgot about her grandparents, her father and GiGi, Lane and Zach, Paris and Doyle, Taylor and Miss Patty and Babette and Mowry and Lulu and cat Kirk and human Kirk. Right then, lost in his deep browns, there was only Jess and Rory. And then, without thinking, she stood up on her tiptoes, flung her arms around his neck, and mashed her lips against his.

* * *

Stunned, Jess took a hop-step back. But it only took him a second to react. He wrapped his free arm around her waist, hugging her tightly to him. Rory ran her fingers through his wet hair, and it was all Jess could do not to drop his towel. Boy, was she making this whole "getting dressed" thing tough. He pulled back suddenly, and Rory frowned. He immediately hated himself for it. Why couldn't he just let things flow? Because he was worried that she'd regret it. However, the sight of her – face flushed, hair matted from sleep, and frowning – made him smirk. "You're not making this easy." Rory's clearly confused expression prompted Jess to explain. "I'd kinda like to move my focus away from holding this towel up for dear life to something, say, a little more productive."

Rory let go of her hold on him, stepping back slightly, but Jess kept his arm around her. He still had the sickening feeling that she could very easily come to her senses at any minute and leave him. Rory reached up and brushed some hair out of her face and behind her ear. "I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me."

Jess smirked down at her. So, she _hadn't_ been thinking about what she was doing, as he'd suspected. She was just _feeling... _and _doing_. He wouldn't let her regret it. "I think I might know. Come 'ere." He pulled her closer again and kissed her softly on the lips. She willingly kissed him back, which relieved him... before she suddenly wobbled again. Good thing he was still holding her. "Ror, how long has it been since you've eaten?"

Rory furrowed her brow, obviously counting the hours. "Um… not since lunch yesterday? I guess last night I just kind of… forgot."

Jess was shocked. _She forgot?_ The Gilmores _never_ forgot to eat_. _He couldn't help but feel like it was partly his fault. He should've never let her go to sleep without making sure she'd eaten."Well, how about you hop in the shower, and I'll find you some clean clothes and make you some breakfast?"

Rory looked confused. Actually, she'd looked confused ever since he'd come out of the bathroom. She looked so cute when she was confused, with the crease between her eyebrows and that little pout where her bottom lip stuck out a bit further. "You cook?"

Jess scoffed. "I did work in a diner for a few years in a little dinky town in exchange for room and board, remember?"_ And met _you_, _he added silently.

"Right. Of course."

"Any suggestions?"

Rory grinned up at him. "You know how to fry an egg?"

Jess smirked. "Yeah, I think I can swing that."

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**A/n:** This chapter was a bit longer, per request! I promise that in the next chapter you'll find out what happened the night before! And there may be some more of Matt and Chris, too. :] Now do your thing in the reviews!


	4. Scout's honor

**Author's Note: **This chapter changes POVs again. But there's line breaks so you'll know. Not much happens plot-wise in this chapter, it's just something a little light-hearted and fun. Kind of a bridge from Chapter 3 to Chapter 5. Again, my reviewers are so lovely! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Gilmore Girls", nor am I affiliated with it, the creators, the writers, the actors/actresses, the directors, or the producers in any way. I am just a fan.

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**Scout's honor.**

"I forgot how you Gilmores could really shovel it in!" Jess laughed as he watched Rory – clad in his long sleeved forest green cotton tee and the jeans she'd worn last night – finish off her fifth pancake. She had long ago finished up the three eggs that were left in the fridge, so Jess had brought out the pancake mix.

"Well, that and the fact that I haven't eaten in, like… _years_," Rory managed between bites.

Jess was busy cleaning up the mess he'd made. He smirked at her. "You sure that's gonna be enough?"

Rory nodded while chewing without looking up from her plate to see the proud gleam in Jess's eyes. He loved when a girl wasn't ashamed or afraid to eat, especially in front of a guy. He couldn't stand those stick thin, upscale, wishing-to-be-models, New York girls. With their fashion magazines, and their rib cages and spines sticking out, and their cracker-nibbling, and their high heels, and their skimpy clothing. Fortunately, Rory possessed none of those qualities.

"For now," Rory said to him with a smile after swallowing her last bite.

She began to stand up from her seat at the island to bring her plate to the sink, but Jess stopped her. "What do you think you're doing?"

Rory looked confused… _again_. "I'm gonna wash my dishes. And then help you clean up."

Jess shook his head. How could she be so selfless? _All of the time_? "No, you aren't. You're my guest. You sit down. This is my mess – I'll clean it," he said firmly, taking her plate.

Rory stayed halfway out of her seat. "Well, can I at least get some more coffee?"

"Sure thing." He reached towards the coffee machine on the kitchen counter behind where he stood, grapping the pot by the handle and refilling her mug.

She sat back down in her seat, defeated, graciously accepting the life-giving liquid. "I meant could I get some _myself_. But this will do." She brought the mug to her lips, closing her eyes and taking a swig. Along with being a healthy eater _and _being selfless, she was also easy to please. She was _perfect_.

Jess continued cleaning up as Rory drank her coffee in silence. He decided he liked this picture – him cooking breakfast for Rory and later cleaning up while she looked on, coffee in hand. He could imagine living like this every day and never getting tired of it. Not when it was with _her_.

"I'm sorry I finished off the last of your eggs."

Jess smirked again. She was apologizing for _eating_? Of _course_ she was. He turned to look at her while drying off the last of the dishes. "Don't worry. They weren't even mine."

Rory squinted at him. "Don't you live here?"

"Yes, but I share the place with two doofuses, remember?" he quipped back.

"But you don't share the eggs, I'm assuming."

"You've assumed correctly."

"And do you mind telling me _why _you don't share the eggs?"

Jess was done with the dishes now. He turned and leaned over the opposite side of the island across from Rory, facing her. "Well, you met Matthew, right?" Rory nodded as she took another sip of coffee, prompting Jess to go on. "He's kinda OCD."

"Kind of?"

"Okay, pretty bad," Jess admitted with a chuckle.

Rory's eyebrows lifted. "He can't be as bad as Paris, though!"

"Oh, god, no. I'd be outta here in the blink of an eye." Jess had tried to hang out with Paris once before. While the conversation had been rather stifling, and her views on literature had been surprisingly liberally intellectual, he didn't think he could take her constant judging demeanor and need for constant perfection in the same living quarters as himself.

"Oh, come on! Paris isn't _that_ bad."

_Of course she's gonna defend Paris. Paris is her friend_, Jess mused. But he knew that she knew better. So, he said nothing, and just looked at her knowingly.

Rory sighed. "Okay, she kinda _is_ that bad. Go on."

He smirked at her predictability. "Well, Matt has this system to keeping our food costs and portions even. Basically, if we want it, we buy it. If we don't eat it, it gets eaten. But the basic necessities – like eggs, bread, milk, cheese, and Corn Pops, of course…"

"Of course," Rory cut him off, announcing her aggreement.

"…Those we each buy one of," Jess finished. "And we label them."

Rory gaped at him, an incredulous look on her face. "You're _not_ serious."

Jess walked the short way to the refrigerator and, opening it up, pulled out two half-filled, identical jugs of milk. But on one, "MARIANO" was written in black Sharpie, and "DUNCAN" was written on the other.

"Oh my god, you _are_ serious."

"Yep." Jess tossed the two jugs back into the fridge and walked back to his spot opposite Rory.

She tilted her head to the side, obviously considering something. "So, whose eggs did I eat?"

Jess just stood there, smirking. Leaning onto the island top, he edged a little farther over to Rory unconsciously. Or maybe he _had_ been conscious of it and just didn't care…

"Please tell me I didn't eat Matt's eggs."

He kept on smirking. "You didn't eat Matt's eggs."

"Okay, now tell me the truth," she said, eyebrows raised once more. But this time, instead of indicating shock, the change in expression indicated that she wasn't playing around.

"I don't remember you being so demanding, Gilmore!" Jess replied playfully. "But it's okay that you ate his eggs. We've got a system for that, too. Chris and I sometimes think it's funny to eat Matt's food. And when Matt runs out, and we don't, and he asks who ate his food, we both blame each other. So Matt puts it on our tabs." He saw Rory's eyebrows go up further, this time in shock again. "He told us to open a savings account, and if we each put in five bones a month, it'll add up to the amount on our tab in about a year. He has the date written down somewhere, I'm sure. But the date keeps getting pushed back, and the monthly deposit amounts keep getting larger, because we keep eating his food."

Rory grinned at him knowingly. "But you haven't even opened an account."

"Bing! Right answer."

"So, what happens when that judgement day comes, and neither you nor Chris has the money?"

"I don't know. We die, probably." Jess shrugged nonchalantly. He took Rory's empty coffee mug to the sink and began to wash it out.

"Don't you feel guilty? That he's spending more money on food for the three of you?"

"Nah, not really," he answered, back turned to Rory. "Me and Chris… we buy all the music, all the books, all the movies. We provide all the means of entertainment here. And Matt knows he uses it all. It's a fair trade."

"Right. You always _were_ one to rationalize." He could literally hear the mocking grin in her voice.

"So, what do you wanna do today?" he asked as he dried off the mug. He tried to sound as casual as possible, even though his heart was suddenly beating in his ears. He rambled on, for fear of what her answer might be. "I know all the best coffee shops around here. The loud ones, the quiet ones. And all the best book stores… Again, the lound ones and the quiet ones. There's even this old music store a couple blocks down that still sells vinyl records, can you imagine that?"

"Jess…" Rory stopped him, and the tone of her voice wracked his nerves once again. He turned slowly to look at her. She wore a serious expression, one that didn't seem like she was planning on wasting any time getting to the point. Another thing he loved about Rory Gilmore – she didn't beat around the bush. "Jess, we need to talk about last night."

* * *

After showering, having her coffee, and _finally _getting some food, Rory was feeling much better. Her headache was all but gone. She tried her best to seem calm and collected as she started off the conversation they both knew had been coming. She had high hopes that Jess's words would spark her memory. In the shower, she'd planned it all out. She would hint at things, questioning the events of the previous evening, and getting him to speak of them. And, then, she'd remember. She _had_ to remember.

Now, Rory was sitting on Jess's bed, and Jess had pulled the chair he'd slept in up next to it, directly across from her. "So," he said.

"So," she repeated.

"About last night…"

"Yeah, about last night…"

Jess hesitated, obviously trying to decide what to say next. "Do you, um…" Pause. Then, "Do you regret it?"

_Here we go_, she thought. _Hook, line, and sinker_. "Which part?"

Jess shrugged. "All of it. Coming here… Staying the night… Telling me _everything_…" He trailed off.

_Everything_? What all had she told him? She couldn't remember – no surprise _there_. But, still, she wanted to give him an honest answer. So, she thought about what she _did_ remember. The open house had been quite impressive, and she'd enjoyed it very much – all the way to the strange poet. Then there was the kiss that had started it all… and after that she went blank. It frustrated her so much so that she couldn't stand to think about it, so she moved to the next memory. Waking up in Jess's bed, surrounded by the scent of him, wasn't so bad. Seeing him dripping wet in a towel? Again… not so bad. And that _doozey_ of a kiss…

"No, I don't regret it," she said truthfully. "Not at all."

She could literally see Jess relax at her revelation. "Good. I'm glad."

She tried to get more out of him. "Did _you_ regret anything?"

Jess looked confused. "Why would I?"

"Oh, um… I'm just making sure." Well, she didn't get anything out of him _there_.

"So, what now?"

How was she supposed to know "what now" when she didn't even know "what then"? She pinched her eyes closed, trying to think of something to say to get Jess to open up a little more. When she opened her eyes, though, Jess was giving her a knowing look. "What are trying to keep from me? I can tell there's something missing."

Rory considered playing dumb, but knew he'd just see right through her façade. "How did you know?" she half-whined.

Jess smirked. "I know you, Rory," he said. And he did. "So, what is it?"

Rory wasn't really sure how to tell him this without it sounding really weird, so she just came right out and said it. "I don't remember."

"Jeez, Rory! What do you mean you don't remember? I just asked, like, two seconds ago!"

Rory shook her head. "No… I mean, I don't remember anything. Last night is all a blur to me."

Jess blinked at her in disbelief. "Really?"

Rory nodded, placing her hand over her heart. "Scout's honor." Jess had a worried look on his face, but it softened a bit when she said it.

"Hmm. I never pegged you as the girl scout type."

"I'm not," Rory grinned, "but Mom always buys cookies from them."

"Shortbread?" Jess guessed.

"Thin mints, actually," Rory asnwered.

Jess cringed. "I never really liked the thought of chocolate and mint together."

Rory giggled. "Me neither! But, you know my mom. She'll eat anything," Rory said, although they both knew that she would eat pretty much anything, too. It was one of the many odd genes she'd acquired from her mother.

A short silence followed. Rory knew that the conversation was about to get uncomfortable again. "So," Jess said after a few moments of staring at Rory and her avoiding eye contact, "nothing?"

Rory sighed. "Nothing."

"Would you like to know what happened?"

* * *

**A/n:** I know I said that you'd find out what happened "last night" in this chapter, but it got to be really long. So, I just divided it up into two chapters. The next one will be up shortly, and I *pinky swear* things will be revealed in the next chapter! Also, They don't say Matthew's or Chris's last names on the show, so I just made up some. So, the milk carton that said "DUNCAN" was Matthew's. Review, and I may post faster. :]


	5. You're welcome, Rory Gilmore

******Author's Note: **First off, I love you. Now, here's what you've all been waiting for...

******Disclaimer: **I do not own "Gilmore Girls", nor am I affiliated with it, the creators, the writers, the actors/actresses, the directors, or the producers in any way. I am just a fan.

* * *

**You're welcome, Rory Gilmore.**

"Well, you came here and hung out during the open house."

Rory's gaze was finally fixed intently upon him. He knew she was searching his words for familiarity. So, he took advantage of this moment to get her going a bit. "Afterwards, Matt and Chris invited us to go for a drink. You wanted to go, so we went. Then, you proceeded to get me shamelessly drunk on these pink, fruity, embarrassing-looking drinks with the tiny umbrellas in them that I always swore I'd never drink."

Rory's expression became more tight – more rigid – while listening to his story. He knew she was trying to look like none of it was a shock, that none of it was affecting her. So, he decided to make the story a little wilder. "Once I was completely out of it, you drove us to the airport, stole my credit card, and booked us a flight to Vegas. When we got there, we were married by a priest dressed as Elvis." Rory sighed and grinned, relief evident on her features as she realized he was lying.

"Then, we got back on the plane and made it back here right in time for no one to realize we were gone." Jess smirked at her, his eyes wild.

"Oh, is that so?" Rory questioned playfully.

Jess adjusted himself in his seat to where he was leaning closer to her. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Absolutely."

Rory looked down at her hands. "Well, then where's my ring?" she asked holding up the ringless fingers of her left hand.

"I bought you one out of a twenty-five cent machine at a cornerstore outside of the chapel. But it was too big, and it fell off when we were going through airport security, and we couldn't find it. It's sad, really."

"Well, then. I guess without a ring it's not an official marriage," Rory decided smugly.

Jess raised is hands in mock surrender. "You signed the papers! You're just as guilty as I, if not more. I was highly intoxicated. My senses were dulled; I wasn't aware of my surroundings! Therefore, I can't be held accountable for my own actions!"

Rory scoffed. "Oh, don't even act like if you'd been sober that things would've gone down any differently!"

Jess looked away from her. There was a silence after Rory realized exactly what she'd said. Her words had really hit home. But the truth was that if this scenario would've been real, and Jess would've been sober and coherent in said scenario, he _would've_ married her still. Without a doubt. And in the silence, Jess knew that Rory knew it, too.

"I'm sorry, Jess," came a soft, angelic voice. "I didn't mean…"

"No," Jess cut her off, looking her square in the eye. "You were right. You're _always_ right." He waited a few moments to let that sink in. He watched as the blush rose in her cheeks, her fair skin turning a rosy pink. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful. She looked away, embarrassed.

Jess leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. He knew what she wanted to hear. "We didn't do anything."

"I know."

"I thought you said you didn't remember?"

"I think I would remember _that_."

He hesitated a moment before saying, "We almost did, though."

Now, Rory looked up at him, starving for answers. "Why didn't we?"

Jess smirked. He'd expected her to say something more along the lines of 'Oh my god' or 'Oh, no'. He decided he found her reply of 'Why didn't we?' a _lot_ more satisfying. So, he answered her question. "You started crying."

A baffled look came across her face. "What?"

"Yep. And it wasn't like morning dew, or raindrops, or a _stream_, even. It was more like a waterfall. You just… broke down. All at once."

Rory blushed again. "That must've been quite a treat for you."

Jess continued to smirk at her flushed cheeks. "Then, I just held you while you cried. And talked. And yelled. And paced. And talked. And cried some more." When Rory said nothing, he went on – this time, smirkless. "You told me... _everything_. Everything that's happened in your life since I got on that bus to go to California to see Jimmy and missed your graduation. And you didn't stop with telling me about _your_ life, either. You went on to tell me about Lorelai's, Luke's, Lane's, Emily's and Richard's, your dad's, Paris's, _Dean's_," – he grimaced here – "and even a little bit of Kirk's. Oh, and some naked guy named Marty's. But, it all ended up with the, um…" He said this a little quieter, "bridesmaid incident."

"Oh, my goodness," she breathed. "I'm _so_ sorry…"

Jess shrugged. "Don't be. It was rather…" – he searched for the right word – "_interesting_ hearing about your life and what's been going on in Stars Hollow since I left it. I mean, I didn't really need to hear_ all_ of it… especially the parts about _Dean_… But you were just so upset! And I wasn't about to open my big mouth and make it any worse."

"So, you just _listened_ the entire time?" Rory asked quietly.

"Yep, pretty much. And you were crying for just _so_ long, and it gave you this _massive _headache… And I totally forgot about making sure you'd eaten, and I just wanted you to feel better… So I gave you some clean clothes, and you asked me for some coffee... I went and made you some, but when I came back you were fast asleep in my bed. So, I just crashed in the chair."

Jess hadn't realized that he'd been rubbing his temple until he felt Rory's hand in his, bringing both of their hands back down to his lap. Now it was _her_ who was leaning forward towards _him_. "Jess."

He looked up into her huge baby blues and found comfort there. This conversation had started off with _her_ needing comfort from _him_. When had the tables turned? "Yeah?"

Her lips were slightly upturned. It was a sign of compassion, he knew. "Thank you. For taking care of me. For being there for me when no one else was. For _listening_." She sighed. "Thank you."

She was _so_ _close_. It would be so easy for him to just lean in and kiss her, right then and there… But instead he found himself saying, "You're welcome, Rory Gilmore."

* * *

As Jess had spoken, she'd listened intently, her mind focused solely on remembering. And, thankfully, as the story had progressed, bits and pieces of flashes of memories had come and gone. When she'd started really focusing on those bits and pieces and flashes, she'd found that she could make them begin to last longer.

Then, towards the end of Jess's monologue – around the part when he started seeming less like the hero and more like the one who needed rescuing – it all came flooding back to her. She suddenly rememberd _everything_. But instead of stopping him to tell him, she let him continue, curious as to what he would say. And when he was finished, she'd thanked him… and she could tell that she'd touched him, somehow.

Now, though, she wanted to bring the conversation back around to a lighter subject and soften up the mood. "So, what's on the agenda for today, Mariano?" she asked as she let go of his hand and straightened up in her seat on the edge of the bed.

Jess looked up at her, and the sad, vulnerable look he'd worn just moments before had alltogether vanished. "I was thinking maybe we could go vandalize some old, abandoned warehouses, or something," he said, and the dry, sarcastic Jess was back, just like that.

"Alright, sounds good!"

Jess sat up in his chair, snapping his fingers. "Ooh, you know what? I just remembered we're fresh out of canned spray paint."

"Bummer," she grinned. "But didn't you mention something about bookstores, earlier?"

Jess grinned back at her. "Depends on how long you're planning on staying. These aren't just any old Hartford or New Haven bookstores. These are _Philadelphia_ bookstores. There's_ tons_ of entertaining literature here. And the good kind, too, with the antique-looking hardback covers, and that old book 'smell'. And they're all waiting for you. Browsing and perusing through such experienced stacks could very possibly take a good while."

"That's perfectly fine," Rory said, standing up, and she knew what she said was true. "I've got all day."

Jess smiled one of those rare "Jess" smiles that Rory knew few had ever witnessed and stood up, walking to the bedroom door and holding it open for her.

As she followed him through to the living room area, a thought suddenly occurred to her. "One more question."

"Yeah?" Jess asked.

"Whose pancake mix did you use?"

"Don't worry," he replied with a smirk. "That was mine."

* * *

**A/n:** Yay! I really like this chapter for some reason. I feel like although none were actually spoken outright, a lot of issues between the two of them had been resolved emotionally. I hope it lived up to all of your expectations! I didn't really intend to build up the revelation of what happened "last night" to so much hype, persay. I just had some things I wanted to write before we found out. Next up: More Matt and Chris and a "Logan" discussion between Jess and Rory. And I'm not sure what to do about Lorelai, and Rory telling her where she's at and junk. Idk... I need to go back and watch the episode before, "Paul Anka", and then the episode after. REVIEW!


	6. Because you deserve to know

**Author's note:** This chapter is a doozey. You have been forewarned. Oh, and it's entirely in Rory's POV.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Gilmore Girls", nor am I affiliated with it, the creators, the writers, the actors/actresses, the directors, or the producers in any way. I am just a fan.

* * *

**Because you deserve to know.**

The door flung open, and a blob of a person came through Jess's apartment door. Actually, it was two people, but they were clung so tightly to each other that it was hard to tell them apart at first. They hobbled into the living room, and Jess kicked the door closed behind them, careful not to loosen his hold on Rory. She'd been clutching a paper bag that held the books she'd purchased. Now that they were inside the apartment, she was more than relieved to drop them to the floor at her feet, effectively freeing her hand for more important work.

_Boy_, did this feel good. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this much… Well, the first word that came to mind was "desire", but she knew that wasn't appropriate. The right word was "need". Yes, she needed him so badly right now that it was almost too much to bear.

She tangled her fingers into his hair, using it as a grip so she could push her body even closer into his, if that was at all possible. Jess gladly reciprocated the effort and tightened his grip on her waist before deciding to allow the entirety of his arms to wrap themselves around her small frame. Her whole body tingled with delight from head to toe. She couldn't catch her breath, but she didn't mind _at all_.

The _taste_ of him, the_ smell _of him, the_ feel_ of him… it was all too much. Her heart was nearly beating out of her chest, pounding in her ears. Her stomach was all tied up in wonderful little knots. Her entire being was burning with passion. And the fact that he couldn't seem to get enough of her either was almost overwhelming. Her thoughts were all jumbled and running together in flashes of bright pinks, yellows, and blues. Everything she'd felt for him back when they were mere teenagers came flooding back to the front of her mind, only now they were heightened by the rush of blood through her veins and were ten times more powerful. She knew without a doubt that she could go on kissing this man forever and ever, and never tire of it up until the day that she died.

And when she felt his fingers skim the hem of her shirt and begin to wander aimlessly underneath it and up the small of her back, she nearly yelped in agonizing joy…

But her little moment of heaven was quickly interrupted by the quiet, yet purposeful, sound of someone clearing their throat. Someone in the room. Someone that wasn't her or Jess.

"Well, Matt! I don't remember you renting a porno to go along with our dinner!"

Rory, taken aback, instinctively jumped backwards away from Jess. Her breathing was ragged, her knees were wobbly, and as she saw the two amused faces of Jess's roommates staring back at her, her face suddenly got_ really_ hot.

But then, before she could say anything or run away, Jess was at her side again, arms wrapped tightly around her once more.

Matthew and Chris were sitting on the couch. They'd obviously been watching T.V. Matt was holding the remote in one hand and a Red Bull in the other, while Chris was holding a Root Beer and a half eaten Twinkie. They were both smirking, not unlike the signature facial expression of one Jess Mariano. Chinese food in their paper boxes were spread across the coffee table. Rory didn't hear any sound coming from the television. Had they really muted it just to watch them?

"Oh, please," Matthew said, "don't stop on our account!"

Chris chuckled. "Yes, by all means, carry on."

Rory, too stunned and embarrassed for words – and still trying to catch her breath – just stood there dumbly. So, Jess spoke up for the both of them. "A little warning would've been nice, Dumb and Dumber."

"Well, we doubt you would've heard us over all your moaning and groaning," Matt grinned. At this, Rory's face felt even _hotter_.

"And, even then, I don't think Dumb and Dumber is an adequate comparison, Jessie boy," Chris chimed in.

"Well then, maybe Beavis and Butthead would suffice?" Jess quipped back.

Matthew nodded. "I suppose that's fitting enough."

Then, silence. Rory felt the heat of Jess's breath on her neck, and wished with all of her being that Matthew and Chris weren't there. Everyone was just staring at each other, and suddenly, Rory couldn't take it anymore. So, she said all the she ever knew how to say when things were uncomfortable, when she was in the heat of the moment, or when she was being put on the spot. "Hi."

Matt's gaze darted towards her."Well, hello, love. Finally caught your breath?"

Rory gave him a quick half-smile. "Were you enjoying the show?" she asked sarcastically. Jess turned his head, burying his face in her hair, trying to control his laughter. Rory unconsciously leaned into him, and Jess willingly tightened his grip on her.

Chris playfully punched Matt in the arm. "Boom, roasted!"

Matthew gave Chris a disgusted look. "Oh, shut up, Chrissy." Then he looked back at Rory. "Care for some Chinese?"

"That depends," Rory answered. "Whose name is on it?"

Chris burst into laughter as Matt gave Rory an evil glare. "Boom, roasted! _Again_!" Chris choked out between laughs.

"Well, in that case, consider the invitation to join us withdrawed," Matt said sourly. Clearly defeated, he unmuted the T.V. Then, after punching Chris in the arm – who both laughed and winced – the two of them settled back into the couch with their dinner.

Rory was about to respond with something witty, but instead drew in a sharp breath. She felt Jess, whose face had still been turned away from the conversation and into Rory's hair, begin to place soft kisses on her ear. And if that wasn't enough, she felt a couple of his fingers reach up under the hem of her shirt again. She felt as if she was going to explode into a million fiery pieces. Why was he torturing her this way?

She reluctantly pulled herself away from him – which may or may not have been one of the single most difficult things she'd ever done in her lifetime – and gave him the most serious face she could muster up. She almost broke, though, at the slight, almost unnoticable downturn of Jess's lips at the fact that she wasn't in his arms anymore. "Jess," she said quietly, almost pleading.

He smirked. "Yes, Rory?"

Rory sighed. She took his hand in hers and began walking towards his room, with him dragging behind. She was careful to take the path behind the couch so that Matt and Chris wouldn't make any more perverted comments. She thought they were clear as she turned the knob on Jess's bedroom door. But as they walked in, right before Jess pulled the door to behind them, she heard Chris's bellowing voice: "Have fun, children!"

Rory felt herself blush even as the door was shut and she knew Chris couldn't see her. She opened her mouth to say something – _anything _– to Jess, but was quickly stopped by his lips crashing into hers. She wanted to stop him, to push him away. She wanted to have a coherent conversation with him about just _what_, exactly, was going on between them. But as she felt his arms wrap deathly tight around her once more, she knew it would be impossible, and highly improbable, for her to resist him.

Jess backed her up, and she obligingly complied. When she felt the back of her knees come in contact with the edge of the bed, she eased herself down onto it, careful not to loosen her hold on him. Kicking his shoes off, he slid one arm underneath her waist, lightly scooping her up and scooting her farther up near the top of the bed, so that her head was resting on his pillow.

Jess's lips moved from her lips to her cheek, her cheek to her jaw, her jaw to her neck. Everywhere they touched her skin it felt like fire. As she, too, kicked her shoes off, her hands moved from his face to his neck, his neck to his shoulders, his shoulders to his back. He was so beautiful, and this felt _so good_… The rush she felt when his hands slid once again up her shirt and his fingers came in contact with the flesh on her back brought her to her senses, somehow. She knew this couldn't happen. Not without having a talk first. "Jess," she whispered against his lips.

"Mm?" Jess answered, moving his attention once more from her mouth to her neck.

Rory tried desperately to catch her breath. "Jess, we need to stop…"

And then he was off of her. He'd rolled over onto the bed next to her. Rory shuddered slightly at the absense of his warmth. "Jess, I…" she started while sitting up.

"Don't start, Rory." His voice sounded pained. He sat up slightly ahead of her and ran his hand through his hair, not looking at her. Suddenly, he jerked his head around and met her gaze. His eyes were dark and angry. "_Why_ did you come here?" he bellowed.

"Quiet, Jess!" Rory pleaded. "They'll hear!" She pointed towards the door.

"_Screw_ them!" Jess yelled. "I don't care if they hear! I don't deserve this, Rory!" Rory was taken aback. She hadn't meant to anger him. She'd just wanted to talk…

He took a deep breath. "You didn't answer me." His voice was quieter now, thankfully.

"What?"

"Why did you come here?"

Rory sighed. "I thought I answered that last night."

"But why did you stay?" His voice still sounded pained, and Rory wished more than anything that she could make it go away.

"Because… We were having such a good time… I mean, I thought you _wanted_ me here..."

"Of course I _want_ you here, Rory. But not like_ this_! Not with you with some other guy! Not without knowing that I actually have a real shot with you!" Rory said nothing, and after a few moments, he added quietly, "I can't keep doing this, Ror. I can't keep losing you... The most important person in my life."

Rory didn't know what to say. She just sat there, shocked by his revelation. He had bared a part of his soul to her – no matter how tiny of a part it may have been – and she knew how difficult it was for him to do that. She waited a moment, taking it in. "I can't go back to him, you know."

Jess said nothing. He only looked away from her. She sighed and went on. "I _could_ go back. I couldn't forgive him for what he did… But I could go back. Our relationship has always been so easy – like breathing. I'm sure everything would work itself out in time. But I'd always be just walking on thin ice around him – scared that if I say one wrong thing he'll be out the door, running into the arms of God knows how many different women. And I wanna be comfortable, you know? I don't wanna keep living my life worrying. And _that's_ why I can't go back." She sighed. "But, still, I've just never felt good enough for him. Even after he's cheated on me… I still don't feel up to par. Maybe it'd be best for him in the long run if I leave him, anyway." Rory stopped to take in his reaction. She hadn't meant to reveal all of that. But once she'd started, it all had come spewing out, and she knew better than anyone (besides her mother) that when word vomit starts, there's no stopping it.

"Why are you telling me all this?" he said without facing her.

"Because you deserve to know." And it was the truth.

"Why do you think you're not good enough for him? Because his dad's a millionare? Because he drives a Porsche? Because he has a summer home in Prague?" he said angrily, finally turning to look at her. He scoffed. "Well, I've met the guy. And you can say he was having a bad day, you can say he had a little too much to drink, you can say whatever you want. But I met him, and I know that _he's_ the one who's not good enough for _you_. You're smart, and witty, and beautiful, and caring... You put _everyone's_ needs before your own. And you have this entire town of people that just love and adore you as if you were a part of their own family. You're gonna make a hell of a journalist one day, I just know it. And I also know you've got tons of men waiting in the wings just_ pining _for you, whether you see them or realize it or not. I know… because I'm one of them."

_What? _"You are?" she asked softly, barely above a whisper.

"Of _course_ I am! I sent you an invite, remember? I spent _weeks_ debating whether I was going to or not. I knew I wanted to see you – I _always_ wanted to see you – but I knew the pain would be too great if you just came and went. And then… _finally_… I decided, why not? Because I'd never know unless I tried. And then, by some _miracle_, you actually came. And then you _stayed_… And I've been tiptoeing around you, scared to let you out of my sight – scared to let go of you – for fear you'd suddenly come to your senses and realize you've got this amazingly rich boyfriend waiting for you back home, and then you'd_ leave_. And I've been avoiding this conversation because I just don't think I can take it if you choose him over me."

Rory knew the look on her face must've been quite the sight to see. It felt incredulous, and heart-breaking, and shocked, and scared… all at the same time. She wanted to say something to express her eternal gratitude to this _wonderful_ man for caring for her so much, but her mind had gone completely blank. Before she knew it, he was talking again.

"And then, I think that even if you don't go back to him, you'll still leave eventually. And you'll find another man just as good-looking and able – if not more – and you'll fall in love with him and be just as happy. But _I_ won't. I've been on _dozens_ of dates with _dozens_ of literate, attractive, and wit-appreciating girls since you. But I never call them back, and you wanna know why? Because I unconsciously compare them to _you_. And comparing someone to you is by far the _stupidest_ thing anyone could ever do, because you'll _infinitely_ surpass them every time. And I could _never_ have a second date, no matter how great the first one was. Because I know that sooner or later, I'll let something slip or I won't pay enough attention to her, or whatever. And she'll figure out that there's a beautiful, _spectacular_ girl out there somewhere that I let get away… and that I'm _still in love with her_."

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**A/n:** Dun, dun, dun! And I'll just leave you guys with that. Tell me what you think of *Jess Mariano* actually _talking this much_ at one time in the reviews? I think you will. =]


	7. Ever since Dodger

**Author's Note:** The reviews I recieved on chapter 6 were AMAZING. Srsly, I was smiling so big while reading them. I must've looked very foolish smiling that widely at a computer screen. To thank you for your lovely comments, this chapter has quite a bit of fluff in it. And since the last chapter was in Rory's POV, this one is in Jess's. Enjoy. =]

**Disclaimer: **I do not own "Gilmore Girls", nor am I affiliated with it, the creators, the writers, the actors/actresses, the directors, or the producers in any way. I am just a fan.

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**Ever since Dodger.**

"You…" she started. But couldn't get it out. She tried again. "You… _love_… me?"

"Well… _yeah_," he breathed out. "It's _you_, Rory... It's _always_ been you." Couldn't she see that?

"For… how long?"

"Jeez, Gilmore! Aren't you studying to be a Journalist? Shouldn't you be able to pick me apart, piece by piece, shredding me for answers and finding them all?" He smirked, but only for a millisecond. He realized that this wasn't a matter to smirk about. Because she might not feel the same. At that thought, his expression went back to what it formerly was – exasperated.

"I don't… ?"

Jess cut her off. "Let's just not put a time frame on it. It doesn't matter."

Rory nodded. Then she said, "I don't love him anymore."

That wasn't exactly what he'd wanted to hear, but it was definitely better than the alternative. _I don't feel the same way._ He shuddered at the thought, hoping she wouldn't notice. "Well, _that's_ good to know."

"But…" she said slowly.

"_But_. There's always a 'but'." He sighed.

She hesitated briefly before going on. "I can't stay here forever. I have to go back… Back to my mom, and Luke, and my grandparents... Back to my job – back to Yale. Back to Stars Hollow…" she trailed off.

"Back to your life. I know; I get it." He looked down for a second, afraid she could see the pain in his eyes. "And I really hope that there's another 'but' coming."

She grinned. "There _can_ be."

At that, his stomach untied itself a bit in relief, but was quick to re-tie itself in anticipation. "Well, let's hear it."

"_But…" _Her grin slowly turned into a smile. "Just because I have to leave_ here_… It doesn't mean I have to leave _you_."

He suddenly felt himself smile. "Oh, yeah?" he asked playfully, leaning towards her.

She grinned, her eyes turning into little blue crescent moons. "Yeah," she whispered, as Jess leaned in even closer. He closed the distance and pressed his lips softly to hers. The only thing he could think was, _Whoa. Déjà vu, much? _Hadn't they done this last night? He sure didn't mind.

Rory surprised him buy grabbing his shirt collar in her tiny fists and leaning backwards on the bed, pulling him down on top of her. He was _more_ than willing to keep this going… but he wasn't entirely sure she was ready. He was scared she wasn't really thinking about the consequences of her actions. He hated to admit it, but he still wasn't one hundred percent positive that she was in this for real. Not yet. Not while she was still attached.

He pushed himself up on his elbows. Rory didn't remove her lips from his, though. She just stretched her neck up higher. Jess smirked against her lips before parting his from hers. "Rory."

She dropped her head back onto the pillow, but slid an arm around his shoulder and lightly fingered the hair at the nape of his neck. "Why do you pull away?"

Jess smirked, reaching up to brush some hair out of her eyes. "For the same reasons you do." She pouted, but kept toying with his hair, which was slowly weakening his resolve. He had to get this out before his reasoning dissolved altogether. "You don't wanna cheat on him."

Her fingers on the back of his neck stilled themselves, while an incredulous look came across her face. "_What?_ Of _course_ I do! Do you know how many times he cheated on me? Even when we had just first started dating, he wanted to keep things casual. And you know me – I'm a relationship kinda girl! But I liked him, so of course I said, 'Sure. Casual. That's what college kids do. Cool," even though he knew _good and well _that it was a lie! So he slept with me on the weekends, and then on the weekdays he was sleeping with Mary and Laura and Wendy and Katie! It wasn't until I went on a date with one of his friends that he caved and finally decided to be my boyfriend, all because I was out on a mere little date with a nice guy that I didn't even really like! But I had to watch him flirt with these girls and kiss these girls, and I was just left to assume that all the things he was doing with me, he was also doing with Mary and Laura and Wendy and Amber!"

Jess smirked as Rory caught her breath. "I thought it was Katie… ?"

Rory scoffed. "Yeah, well, I'm sure there was plenty of room for an Amber in there, too. And maybe an Amy and an Amanda. Ooh, and a Brittany. And a Danielle… And a Jennifer… And what were the names of those bridesmaids… ?"

Jess stopped her rant by kissing her again. After a few moments, he propped himself back up. "You done?" he grinned.

"I should cheat on him. He deserves it," Rory said determinedly.

"I agree. He does deserve it."

"But..." She bit her lip. She was so cute when she did that.

He finished her sentence. "But you don't wanna."

Rory sighed. "I can't."

He nodded. "I know."

She began to sit up, so Jess pushed himself off of her, sitting up across from her. "I have to end it," she said.

"That would be beneficient," Jess replied. "Very, _very_ beneficient."

"But…"

_Uh, oh_. "There's a 'but'?"

"I have to know that you won't leave me, Jess," she said quietly. "Not like before. My heart won't be able to take it." She chuckled humorlessly. "And neither will my sanity."

Jess took both of her hands and wrapped them in both of his. "I won't. I _promise_."

"I really wanna believe you."

He sighed and let go of her hands. How could he say this to where she'd believe him? He meant it – he _really_ did. He loved her… just _so_ much. He wanted her to believe him – he _needed _her to believe him. Everything truly depended on it. So, he did all he knew to do. He quoted his favorite author.

"I kissed her," he said. Then he leaned forwards and gave Rory a soft peck on the lips. "And saw that her eyes were shut." He reached up and ran his fingers over her eyes, closing them. He could see that she was confused, but she let him, nevertheless. "I kissed both her shut eyes." He leaned forward and gently laid a kiss upon each of her eyelids. "I thought she was probably a little crazy."

Rory smiled, eyes still shut. He knew she recognized his brief monologue now. She mouthed the words as he spoke them next. "It was alright if she was." Rory openened up her eyes so she could see him deliver the last line. Jess smirked at her. "I did not care what I was getting into."

"You see, I've been leading a sort of funny life," Rory said, also quoting Hemingway, and it was all Jess could do to refrain himself from grabbing her and enveloping her in kisses. "And I never even talk English." She reached up and stroked his cheek lightly. "And you are so very beautiful."

"I don't. I don't want want anybody else to touch you. I'm silly. I get furious if they touch you." Jess reached over and skimmed the back of his hand down her arm. Rory closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

"You do. What you tell me about in the nights. That is not love. That is only passion and lust. When you love, you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve."

"I do wish that," Jess whispered without thinking. He quickly corrected himself, however, and continued on. "Often a man wishes to be alone, and a girl wishes to be alone, too. And if they love each other, they are jealous of that in each other. But I can truly say we never felt that. We could feel alone when we were together, alone against the others. It has only happened to me like that once."

"Only once?" Rory questioned with a grin, though Jess knew she already knew the answer.

"Only once," he replied honestly.

"We're going to have a strange life." Rory smiled, finishing off the Hemingway-quoting.

Jess grinned right back at her. She'd said 'we'. He really liked that. His expression went serious again. "You needed to know that I wouldn't leave," he said. "And I need to know that you're serious about being with me."

"I know you won't leave," Rory replied. "Because if you do, I'll have Mom, and Luke, and the entire freaking town of Stars Hollow after you with their knives and pitchforks." She smiled. "And all you need to be sure that I'm serious about me and you is this…" She leaned forward, putting her hands on his shoulders and pulling herself into him. When she kissed him, it must've been with all the passion that she had in her. Jess nearly lost it. He tightened his arm muscles, keeping them stiff by his side to keep himself from grabbing her tiny frame and pushing her back down beneath him.

When she pulled back, her face still only inches from his, Jess was speechless. Looking into her crystal blues, he liked what he found there. That small action had given him all the encouragement he needed. He knew that it had been her way of saying what she was afraid to speak out loud. And then…

"I love you, Jess Mariano." Rory Gilmore had proved him wrong once again.

His breath was caught in his throat. His stomach dropped all the way to the floor. His heart was beating frantically, banging around senselessly inside its fragile cavity. He didn't give any of it the time of day for more than a moment, though, as he no longer felt the need to hold himself back from his yearning for her. He grabbed her tiny frame, pushed her back down beneath him, and enveloped her in kisses.

When they both had to unfortunately come up for air, a sly grin came across Rory's face. "...What?" Jess asked carefully.

"For how long?" she repeated her former question.

Jess sighed, but he couldn't help but to smirk. "Is it really all that important? You'll think I'm a pathetic loser. Hell, _I _think I'm a pathetic loser. All that matters is that I do _now_, in the present."

Rory put her arms around his neck and pulled his face down to where it lingered less than an inch from hers. He closed his eyes and parted his lips slightly, awaiting her kiss. But when none came, he opened his eyes again. "Please tell me," she whispered. She was obviously toying with him.

"Or what?" he asked playfully. "You'll refuse to kiss me ever again?" He leaned down to kiss her, but she was quick. She turned her head at just the last moment, causing his kiss to land on her jaw. Jess smirked. _If that's how she wants to play it, then that's how we'll play it._ He continued to plant kisses down her jawline and down onto her neck. He heard her sigh and knew his plan was working. "You can't keep this up forever, Gilmore," he mumbled against her skin.

"Why won't you just tell me?" she half whined, half groaned.

"Kiss me and I'll tell you," he stated.

"But how do I know you aren't bluffing? I could kiss you, and then, what if you don't tell me? You'll get a kiss, and I'll get nothing. You should tell me first, and then I'll reward you with a kiss," she rationalized.

"But that makes you the winner. That was your plan from the start! And I, being a stereotypical macho and self-absorbed man, cannot let you have that satisfaction. Or, worse yet... What if I tell you, and then you don't let me kiss you?"

Rory grinned. "Well, then maybe we should do it at the same time."

Jess raised his eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Through the many years he'd known Rory – no matter how many of those years had been spent horridly apart from her – he knew that she wasn't one to be reasoned with. When she had her mind made up, that was it. There was no changing it. "Alright," he replied, resigned.

"And if you don't hold up to your end of the deal, then that just shows me that I can't trust you. And trust is the basis of a healthy relationship, you know."

_Relationship. With Rory_. Although he'd never admit it, he loved the sound of that. And although he knew she was just playing around, he didn't want to give her any reason whatsoever not to trust him. "I promise. I won't let you down." He said it with all the sincerity he had within him, and by the way her expression became slightly more serious than it had been before, he knew she understood that he'd meant it. And he _had_. He'd really, _really_ meant it.

He closed the tiny gap between their lips. And as she kissed him, he whispered against her lips, "Dodger."

She placed her small palms on his chest and pushed him up slightly. An incredulous look was in her eyes. "You've loved me ever since I called you Dodger?" Jess tried his hardest to keep from looking guilty and just nodded slightly. "That was the day we met," Rory breathed out.

"I am aware. I told you I was a pathetic loser." He avoided her eyes. He didn't want her to see the vulnerability in his.

She lifted his chin up with her fingers so that he was looking at her. "It's not pathetic," she said. "It's _beautiful_." Jess leaned in and kissed her, yet again. It was all he could do to show her the gratitude he felt, but he never got tired of it. Each kiss felt like the very first. She pushed him back up again, though. "_I love you_," she whispered. Then, she said softly – almost desperately, "Tell me you love me."

Jess looked deep into her sky-colored eyes and said as passionately and seriously as he could, "I love you, Rory Gilmore."

Rory smiled hugely at him. "I love you, too," she said before pulling him in for another series of kisses. "And I'm sorry it took me so long to see it."

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**A/n:** All the Hemingway quotes were taken from his famed novel _A Farewell to Arms_. I hope you liked this chapter! Because I really enjoyed writing it. And don't worry... Logan will be taken care of in the next chapter. And by "taken care of" I don't mean killed. I mean... dealt with. But that sounds like I'm killing him off, too... There's just no way to put this. He will live, unfortunately, so stop all your cheering and jumping for joy. =] Oh, and I want y'all's opinion on how I'm doing with keeping them in character. That would be much appreciated!


	8. Here lies the end of a journey

**Here lies the end of a journey.**

I had what I thought to be a very grand idea for how I wanted to continue this story. But it involved Logan and Lorelai and Luke getting involved. Obviously, I can't go on with just Jess and Rory with an occasional cameo appearance from Matthew and Chris. Rory comes with a package - the whole crazy town.

As for Luke, he's easy to write. Lorelai would be a bit harder, due to her fast paced & pop culture-filled dialogue, but still not unmanageable.

As for Logan, though… I really don't like the guy. So I tend to write him as… well… kind of an arse. Which isn't really fair, because he does have a few redeeming qualities…

What am I doing? Trying to defend Logan when this is a Literati story? (Well, I do know of one of my readers who ships Sophie…)

Anyway, school started, and it wasn't summer anymore, and I just tried to write more, and it all came out so… I don't know, it was just difficult to for me to write.

So, the whole point of this rant is that I've decided to end the story here. Because it seems like a good, sweet, semi-solid ending.

This won't be the last you'll see of me, though. I've got ideas… Maybe even a sequel to this one? It's all just a matter of when I have the time to write, y'know? But I'm really glad y'all enjoyed this fic. I really enjoyed writing it, immersing myself into my own little Lit world, and then reading all your wonderful comments. You were all so kind to me and supportive of my writing. It definitely makes me want to never leave the world of fanfiction!

I love you all!

- MJ -  
mjoftheday[dot]tumblr[dot]com


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